It's a wonder I ever get anything done, it seems like the thing I am best at is procrastination... or trying too many things at once. I am going to try and simplify things and shutter my personal blog (one update in 6 months) and move it onto this blog (two updates in 4 months) along with the photography stuff. A little consolidation can't hurt anyone, right? I will also be (finally) getting my retail website up and running in the next months and hopefully offering a selection of my pictures for sale. That website will be strictly for business, this blog for personal and photography (hobby) related works. See, I have it all in a game plan, how can I fail now? (really, I will find a way)
So I am sitting in this photography seminar tonight, and this feeling of almost despair comes over me, this feeling of self doubt and self loathing, very strange, right? My mind begins to wander, what is my creative place in this world? How and when I am going to leave my mark? I don't photograph people... I mean, I guess I could, and maybe someday I will, I don't have any desire for stock photography, and really I wonder if I even KNOW what I want out of photography... or what I want at this moment of crisis, out of my life, creatively. So I am driving home, wondering if maybe I am just a hopeless romantic of photography, just me and my camera moving from one crush to another and ultimately failing to find our one true love, wow... how NOT manly does that sound, eeek! (I have no point here, those of you reading and waiting for my AH HA! moment totally aren't getting one, sorry to let you down.)
So here I am at this crossroad, trying to decide where I ultimately want to go and what do I want to do. I think maybe I will write more again, pair that with my deep love of capturing the world through my eyes. See where that leads, see if that satisfies my desire to express myself creatively, and hopefully find some sort of happy medium. If that doesn't work, I am going to start playing the guitar again and write very, very depressing singer songwriter songs that make all the girls swooooon. Told you I was feeling wordy today.
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2 comments:
I find that I am happiest when I stop thinking about the "why" behind photography and just focus on the how and when. There are a bajillion self-proclaimed photographers out there, many of whom are trying to make a living at it. When I let my mind go down that rabbit hole, I find myself overwhelmed and depressed by it too.
With art especially, there is often no logical endgame... no ultimate goal. Art, almost by definition, has no purpose other than to bring happiness to you and (potentially) your audience. So to try and find meaning in it beyond that might be an exercise in futility.
Enjoy your work, continue to improve your skills and don't worry about too much else. Life has a way of taking care of the details along the way.
This post reminded me of my sales meeting from yesterday. We were talking about the four natural business/life cycles: Getting Ready, Go For It, Doldrums and Cocoon.
Visualizing the cycle in a circle you have them in this clockwise fashion: Getting ready (12 to 3), Go For It (3-6), Doldrums (6-9), Cocoon (9-12). The transition line runs left to right from 9 to 3.
Now, the hardest thing to do in sales and life is to stay in the "Go for It!" stage of life. Particularly in different aspects of your life at the same time.
A lot of times we just get all geared up when we hear encouraging words or think of new ideas, but once we sit down to enact them... into the doldrums we go.
How do we keep in the "Go for It!" stage? My bosses answer was by keeping your goals in front of you. He says he used to tape "bring it strong, or go home" down underneath his desk.
Of course, no matter what we try we must switch it up, because our mind is a fickle mistress. I just hope this serves as encouragement - you aren't alone in this and even the best of us are presented this challenge. You do excellent work when your mind is in the right spot. I leave you with four words:
"Go for It!"
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